I think I just realized something…
You need to make way for conflict! This way, when it comes, it doesn’t need to derail you completely.
Conflict is natural. Seeing it as a natural occurrence in a physical world governed by natural laws is one way to begin–not so much ‘approving’–but, allowing it to be, without condemning self or others for it.
Yes, there is – at times – conflict between me and my mum (whom I love). Am I going to cry over spilled milk for eternity over it? Are we going to remain in darkness for eternity because there was/is conflict in the universe… because of us?
Because of us.
Conflict, because of us?
Shit… Hell no… ‘God’ created all this… It’s God’s fault! (cries a defiant spirit of strife).
Imagine if this is how we continue to think/feel, when, (and I speculate) the reality may be that ‘we’ are God. See the conflict?
‘I’ imagine God as the great equalizing force in the universe. Like a gauge for homeostasis control – like in the human body. And we, apparently, are made in the image of God.
“ God ”
The Great Equilibrium Force of the Universe (?!)
Q. Is God personal?
A. God is a gauge (some assured voice proclaims).
Against what force does God measure? … What indicates equilibrium? What ‘feeling’ – in the universe – does God use to measure whether all is well and in balance? ‘Love’?
….a gauge for harmony where All parts can work well together.
Harmony – Conflict
Without one, there is no other (?)
Conflict tells us something is not working well.
Thinking too much leads to confusion (if we cannot be bothered thinking further, and stall on a confusion spot).
Maybe we just need to feel our way through the universe. Then, we might get to where we need to be….wherever that is.
Gracefully accepting that there ‘is’ conflict, and it is no thing to be ashamed off, is one way of unbridling ourselves, and becoming free. (“Free from what”?)… Shut up gremlin!
It’s like I completely can’t get over the fact that there has been conflict. Innocence lost.
I feel so down on myself for having behaved badly, or, I have let others down in their perception of me.
I have let others down in their perception of me!
God, how can you live up to other people’s perceptions/expectations?
Let myself be human… with mistakes!!!!!!!!!
I am human. I have mistakes. I have made mistakes. I will probably continue to make mistakes.
Let myself off the hook!!!
Others need to deal with their own perceptions, and get real about them….
Let others have their perceptions. They too, have their own mistakes to make, to learn and understand. Let them be…too!
“Aaahh”…. a sigh of relief.
Don’t plug into others who seem to be upholding a perception or expectation of you. ‘Are’ they? Or, are you imagining that they are?
If you come to terms with your own “mistakes”…. (no, I don’t like that)…. If you can come to terms with the fact that there ‘are’ conflicts – along with perceptions/misperceptions ‘others’ seem to be holding against you (which may only be your own conscience being reflected back to you) – then, maybe you need to settle with (albeit temporarily) all the uncomfortable feelings, sense of remorse and regret.
Should I get angry with mum if I ‘imagine’ she is holding something against me? I ‘can’ do… this would be an honest reaction on my part… a form of self defence strategy. But, be aware that this may only create more conflict, and decide…
‘Do’ I want to go down this path… again? Or, is it time to neutralize the pain by simply observing and ‘noticing’ it, rather than reacting ‘to’ it?!
that the thing happened
for the resulting thoughts and feelings
make the conscious choice to decide which way you now want to go
Be a conscious traveler through conflict.