Grievance over a confidence shattering dismissal turned into a soul searching creative insight into the topic of injustice…

I love writing and enjoy sharing my creative view of things here on my blog. But when it comes to voicing an opinion amongst others on a live platform such as YouTube, I’ve had doubts and reservations. It took me a long while before I could muster up the courage to post comments. Even then I would often delete them immediately. Sharing opinions and having a voice is something I have struggled with most of my life.

Recently I had my comment removed from someone’s YouTube. It was a great blow to my confidence. The YouTube channel belongs to a burgeoning spiritual channeller. Within this particular channelling one of the spiritual guides recommended her audience increase their energy (chi/prana). I had discovered a way to do this in The Hathor Material by Tom Kenyon. Happy to share something I felt might be helpful to her community I posted reference to this book along with a brief spiel about the Hathors. 

I soon noticed the comment had disappeared. Was it a glitch on the computer? Was it YouTube flagging the comment as spam? Intuition told me the creator/s had removed the comment. But why? 

I pondered this, and although I came up with a reasonable explanation nothing could deny the heavy blanket of self-doubt that laid upon me. Every bad feeling in me arose. Clusters of life-long self-doubt crept back to the fore. I did what I nearly always do in such times. I picked up a pen and pad and I started writing…

Defy the strife. I proclaim. Yet, a voice of doubt says…You don’t deserve to get off the hook so easily. You need to suffer. You are bad and need to pay for it.

I can’t let myself off the hook so easily because the problem is ‘vagueness’…not really knowing, one way or another, if indeed I did wrong. To feel I did wrong does not sit well with me. But, with this feeling comes also the feeling of ‘injustice’, a feeling which seems imbedded in me.

See it! (A voice says). Feel it. Know it is there. Don’t deny it. Do deny ANY part of yourself! (That’s strange. I just reread that last sentence. It reads “do” deny any part of yourself. But I had meant don’t deny any part of yourself. Is that an accident? Let’s say it isn’t)…

To ‘deny’ that part of myself, that ‘sense of injustice’ part, what would that mean? 

Don’t see it as real. See beyond it. See, or imagine, there is no injustice. There is no injustice.

IN—JUST—ICE 

ICE…FROZEN…FIXED in a frozen state. Stuck On. Stuck In…Injustice.

‘Experiential occurrences’. That is what the Law of One (Ra Material) says. Experiential occurrences! (*This implies not judging things as good or bad).

Lack…One perceives.  Over abundance…One seems.  One has more…another has less.

Injustice? Where did this idea come from?

Gathering of atoms—molecules—cells. 

Why do some gather so much, and others so little? 

Momentum. More here. Less there. 

Why?

Why not? What is wrong about more here, less there? One perceives one as lacking, so see’s the one with more through eyes of wanting. Jealousy. So much fun and sparks going on over there. Yet, here ‘I’ am…alone…cold…no excitement. Alone. Alone.

Without judgement attached to it, it is simply a feeling…an ‘experience’. In the moving procession of things, awareness of oneself simply being at one point on the line, perhaps in the middle, perhaps in the outer edge, but still part of it ALL. And knowing that, sooner or later, one will have proceeded to a new and different state…perhaps one more quiet…perhaps one more moving and dynamic, yet, still a part of the whole.

But, I see the outer edges. Parts that don’t seem to be moving. Perhaps dried up by lack of flow. Pushed out. Flicked off. Suspended in static stillness. Floating away…forgotten. Some caught in amnesia—forgetting their part in the whole. Others gathering together in protest of having being left out…disregarded…seemingly forgotten. They make their own life, separate from that dynamic, moving, powerful flow of life they sense, but feel separate from.

Small inner sparks. Ignite. 

The small inner sparks of the whole from which it came from, light up momentarily when a freshly detached part of that dynamic whole joins the group of lost ones. It’s fading spark shines brightly enough for the lost ones to sense their own dormant inner spark momentarily re-ignite. 

Hope comes for a while. Yet, the dominant feeling will continue to control the group until more and more of those light sparks, trailing off the Great One, shed and attach to the lost ones, slowly slowly, then, quickly quickly increasing in number and size, until…Reintegration? Or, a setting up of an alternative universe—bright and shiny, yet, still separate from the Great One.

The Great One, speeding, flowing, creating through the universe—moving ever onwards and upwards in spiralling swirls of creative joy. A stagnant, still version of the Great One, are the lost ones.