Push Through the Darkness

For all the bad behaviours I have exhibited, I know there has been reason. I cannot take back things I have said or done. Must I now be controlled by them? Am I to condemn myself forever?

Lost souls – the self condemned – lost in the thought of their own self-condemnation; fed by bitterness, unforgiveness.

Who must wear “the blame”? The self condemnor – caught in a confusing mix of self-condemnation, and bitter blaming of ‘another’. Where does it end?

When it stops.

When does it stop?

When it has not begun.

It ‘is’ already!

So shall be the plight of the weary traveller. Seeing only the past – and fearing the future.

NOW    (won)

I overcame the world, and won.

How?

By being here… Now. Not then, but… nowNow, in the ever present new. The ever creative now.

The morphic wonder of dreams of love. Ever new… Ever creative… Ever wondrous… Now. NOW.   NOW.   NOW.

In the now, I am new.
No past, no future.
No regret, no fear.
Just now.

I sense my voice of reason, speaking to me from the depths of my soul.

Push through the darkness –
you’ll make your way
through to the light.
The lightness of being
… free.

 

7108_3.jpg
image source

[Main image source]

Advertisements

The Closer We Move Towards God, The Stronger Gets The Stronghold of The Flesh

I approach my diary often  in times of great need, in order to work out feelings and emotions which are very difficult to live with. I realise things can and often will seem to get a whole lot worse before they begin to get better. Once we begin to move away from the rules of the flesh, along with its needs and desires, and begin to move closer to God/Source – the spirit of the flesh (the part of us most closely associated/identifying with our earthly bodies, will put up a fight. It will kick and scream; yet, the Way Shower (Jesus Christ/ Yeshua Ben Yoseph) came to show us ‘how’ to overcome this trap.

(Diary entry):

A struggle with bitterness. Do we become ‘more’ bitter the closer we start to move towards God? The flesh knows we are going, so it strengthens its hold on us?
(“Read Revelation (chapter) 12”… I heard a voice say).

Notes from Revelation 12:

And the devil is filled with rage, for he knows he has only a short time left.
The mark of the beast is the beast’s name, or the number which stands for the name… 666.

My response/insight/creative abstract ramblings:

A number is a vibration of units. Number ‘6’ in Chaldean-Hebrew Kabala numerology represents ‘love’…’earthly’ love? I wonder how the number ‘6’ can represent the devil.
(Do the sixes represent ‘earthly’ love on the three levels of body, mind, and spirit? I think about the ‘7’ churches (mentioned in Revelation). The 7th church equals the ‘Crown chakra’….our connection to Source/God? Does the ‘6-6-6’ represent our body/mind/state of soul without our connection to God?

The number (of the beast) stands for a man’s name. My name…‘Tracy’…ie my ‘identity’… my ‘marked’ identity, in the world.

The meaning of a number…

The number stands for a name…the number of the beast.

The 666 is the Body, Mind, and Spirit disconnected from God?

Q. What is the Mark of the beast? That which denotes a separation from God (a voice repeated in my head).

At this point in my diary entry I suddenly swayed off track, recalling a thought I have often pondered: Really, you must wonder… What ‘does’ one do with Eternity?

Getting to know our self…. Full Awareness of What We are. What the hell ‘are’ we? ‘Really’?

I was wondering last night in bed: What ‘is’ life? (Now I remember my strained thoughts as a child, where I would sit and try to imagine ‘nothing’ existing. It seemed impossible). I just ‘am’. We… (‘we’?)… ‘We’ just are! What the hell? Think about it. What – in holy mackerel ‘are’ we? Or rather…What am ‘I’? This answer came: We are just What I Am! Sh#%! Mind blowing.

A lotus flower on a pond – opening and closing – breathing IN…. and OUT…always.
Is there ever a time when we don’t exist? Oh yes…the big ‘sleep’…the ‘shutdown’… the ‘Mall is closed’. We retreat back into our sacks… we become no more. Do we wake ‘again’?

An over abundance of sleep causes a tiny movement, of restlessness, and again we begin to wake up. Holy mackerel. With each new waking – a reaching for a new height – a new level of experience. What the hell… Just enjoy it!

All the shits and its;
All the cribs and crabs;
All the bits and bobs.

This is our mishmash hole of (never-ending?) creative fluctuations, joys, and wonders.
And the big sleeps – in between it all – make it all bearable and surprisingly ‘new’ each time it all begins again.

Do your head in wondering. Do our head in wondering – what this ‘life’ is about.

(The following is a sort of Soul Communication dialogue between myself and….?)

Q. God, what ‘is’ life? (‘Movement by thought equalling heat’!?).

Q. What ‘are’ we? (By-product of ‘movement of thought equalling heat’!?)

Okay… Q. What is ‘God’? (A semi permanent state of fluctuating vibration!?)

Q. What is “fluctuating vibration”? (Any movement of thought through time and space).

Q. What is ‘thought’? (Any dream made real!?)

Q. What is a dream? (Made by a motion of space!?)

Q. What is a motion of (in) space? (You are having one right now!)

Q. What am ‘I’ to have a motion in space? (I am the creative dreamer!)

Q. Where did I come from? (My mother’s womb!)

Q. Who is my mother? (The demiurge of offspring!?)

Q. What is the demiurge of offspring? (The father of life!?)

Q. What is the father of life? (That which is!)

Q. What is ‘that which is’? (Hitherto!)

Can I not be, if I am not ‘Am’ (?)!

Nonsense! Diddle-swash! Makeba! Zoom! Flip-flop freedom hopper. Catch me if you can! Zip!  I’m gone… not there. Trying to catch me is like trying to catch the wind, or, compress electricity. Can you do it? Na!

Only those as little children can enter the kingdom of heaven. (Read that!)

Post thought…

“Oh, there must be some sinister side controller putting these thoughts into my (our) heads”?  That is our trouble. Paranoia. “Something, or someone is controlling us – manipulating us”, we might think. So, we fester in tormented paranoia; we drink the juice of the drink we have concocted for ourselves….which is? I don’t know. You tell me!

The tantrums will pass and we’ll get to know ourselves better…or not.

The Lord your God is One!

…that means ‘I’ am one. You, We, All, are One. One big mind of God – thinking thoughts for it self. Whatever we think, is.

starJacket.jpg

 

OCD Insight

rckless_abandon_june2018

What do I mean by ‘reckless abandon’?

I ‘experience’ (I won’t say “suffer” from) OCD symptoms – which, at times can be quite exhausting. Whether foolish or not, I have followed my gut instinct and not heeded my doctors’ advice to go on medication.

It is amazing what the body/spirit will do in order to survive against the odds. There is a way to help yourself – and it is all in the power of your mind…your faith…and your spirit.

The above statement/affirmation came to me this morning as I was being held in the clutches of a repetitive ocd pattern. “Reckless abandon” came across as an option…a creative way to move forward and ‘out’ of the grip of the ocd.

Realizing I am ‘choosing’ to remain trapped in the repetitive pattern – through fear of something terrible happening if I don’t do it – is empowering enough to make me think ‘what exactly am I so afraid of? ‘ 

The other morning another ocd stopper popped into my mind. I reasoned…

Everything that is bound to happen, will happen anyway – regardless of how many times I repeat the pattern.

Cold comfort?

You can also reason…

What has been…has been;

What is…is;

What will be…will be.

If we can relax into the full experience of life, and see it merely as an adventure of the spirit – without judging ourselves or anyone else – maybe we can get by.

One last empowering little OCD affirmation/statement you can say to yourself, which ‘throws a spanner’ in the works of an ocd episode, is…

There is a need (to do the repetitive thing), but, do I comply, or not?

…It may not stop the repetitive habit, but, it certainly causes your brain to realize the possibility of a new way.

Dandelion2

 

Love All, Judge Nothing: A touch on negating karma

The challenge, and gift, of the Tesla Metamorphosis practitioner is to judge nothing…extending their loving heart to all…even the most unlovable (in self and others). Here is where a radical shift in consciousness can take place…raising our vibration and causing us to take on a higher frequency, or, state of awareness/consciousness. The lightness of being that can be felt when one chooses to do this is remarkably liberating. This may be a task we all need to do, to enable ourselves to move out of the quandary we have been in for so long.

(In steps a voice of doubt)….

How could I not judge all the bad stuff? How could I forgive, and ‘be’ forgiven for all the wrongs that have been committed?  We need to be punished! We don’t deserve the privilege of not being held accountable.

Here might be where we get stuck.  If only we could ‘see’ (have a birds eye view) of the cause of things…the natural course of events which lead up to things happening…things said…things done; “Ah, yes”…we might think…”Now I can understand why that happened! It wasn’t ‘because’ of me, it was because of …..” Knowing there is rhyme and reason to things, we wouldn’t need to take things personally; we wouldn’t need to accept the burden of being solely responsible (or making others solely responsible) for all the “bad” stuff. We are not sole perpetrators…we are participants…acting from a natural instinct and drive to do so. Are we going to blame ourselves, or others, for having been unconscious players?  When we don’t realise the karmic wheel we are stuck on – the cause and effect nature of the natural world – well, we continue the motions, the “eye for an eye” thing. When we finally see, and realise, this automatic pilot cycle we are stuck on, we can begin to imagine a way out of it; and so glad will be our heart. A great teacher taught us to ‘turn the other cheek’. Being no impractical suggestion, this was a practical ‘instruction’ on how to negate this perpetuating karmic cycle…how to neutralise it affects.

Back to the part about forgiving self; once we realise the cycle we are trapped in, we can slowly (or quickly) begin to develop mercy and compassion for ourselves. Recognizing our own mishaps of judgment and action in others will allow us to begin to have mercy and compassion for ourselves.  We will be able to give mercy; and, you know how it goes….what you ‘give’ you shall receive.

(Voice of doubt queries)….  Is there punishment in ‘knowing’ these things, but not ‘acting’ on them? (i.e. By continuing to act badly, do we compound our ability to forgive ourselves?)

Just know this is a very tough and stubborn ‘skin’ we are trying to shed…our old habits; and let us not put ourselves down for occasionally slipping up. Instead, know this is a hard task, and expect to occasionally fall backwards. But, let us persevere…let us ‘carry our crosses’, and, keep our heads pointed in the direction we want to go.

Afterthought:

When tempted to become angry (for example), rather than slipping into the whole drama and fiasco of it (and ultimate guilt/karma) reason with yourself – ask: ‘why’ am I feeling angry?  Bring awareness to the situation – minus any need to judge it – remembering it is a natural response…an ‘effect’ of a cause…an equal and opposite reaction to a thing.  Light on the situation allows you navigate through it. You can decide…”O.k., where ‘do’ I want to go with this? Actually, I don’t ‘want’ to be angry; so, I will let it go”.

judge-nothing
image source

For info about Tesla Metamorphosis, please visit www.teslametamorphosis.com