The Closer We Move Towards God, The Stronger Gets The Stronghold of The Flesh

I approach my diary often  in times of great need, in order to work out feelings and emotions which are very difficult to live with. I realise things can and often will seem to get a whole lot worse before they begin to get better. Once we begin to move away from the rules of the flesh, along with its needs and desires, and begin to move closer to God/Source – the spirit of the flesh (the part of us most closely associated/identifying with our earthly bodies, will put up a fight. It will kick and scream; yet, the Way Shower (Jesus Christ/ Yeshua Ben Yoseph) came to show us ‘how’ to overcome this trap.

(Diary entry):

A struggle with bitterness. Do we become ‘more’ bitter the closer we start to move towards God? The flesh knows we are going, so it strengthens its hold on us?
(“Read Revelation (chapter) 12”… I heard a voice say).

Notes from Revelation 12:

And the devil is filled with rage, for he knows he has only a short time left.
The mark of the beast is the beast’s name, or the number which stands for the name… 666.

My response/insight/creative abstract ramblings:

A number is a vibration of units. Number ‘6’ in Chaldean-Hebrew Kabala numerology represents ‘love’…’earthly’ love? I wonder how the number ‘6’ can represent the devil.
(Do the sixes represent ‘earthly’ love on the three levels of body, mind, and spirit? I think about the ‘7’ churches (mentioned in Revelation). The 7th church equals the ‘Crown chakra’….our connection to Source/God? Does the ‘6-6-6’ represent our body/mind/state of soul without our connection to God?

The number (of the beast) stands for a man’s name. My name…‘Tracy’…ie my ‘identity’… my ‘marked’ identity, in the world.

The meaning of a number…

The number stands for a name…the number of the beast.

The 666 is the Body, Mind, and Spirit disconnected from God?

Q. What is the Mark of the beast? That which denotes a separation from God (a voice repeated in my head).

At this point in my diary entry I suddenly swayed off track, recalling a thought I have often pondered: Really, you must wonder… What ‘does’ one do with Eternity?

Getting to know our self…. Full Awareness of What We are. What the hell ‘are’ we? ‘Really’?

I was wondering last night in bed: What ‘is’ life? (Now I remember my strained thoughts as a child, where I would sit and try to imagine ‘nothing’ existing. It seemed impossible). I just ‘am’. We… (‘we’?)… ‘We’ just are! What the hell? Think about it. What – in holy mackerel ‘are’ we? Or rather…What am ‘I’? This answer came: We are just What I Am! Sh#%! Mind blowing.

A lotus flower on a pond – opening and closing – breathing IN…. and OUT…always.
Is there ever a time when we don’t exist? Oh yes…the big ‘sleep’…the ‘shutdown’… the ‘Mall is closed’. We retreat back into our sacks… we become no more. Do we wake ‘again’?

An over abundance of sleep causes a tiny movement, of restlessness, and again we begin to wake up. Holy mackerel. With each new waking – a reaching for a new height – a new level of experience. What the hell… Just enjoy it!

All the shits and its;
All the cribs and crabs;
All the bits and bobs.

This is our mishmash hole of (never-ending?) creative fluctuations, joys, and wonders.
And the big sleeps – in between it all – make it all bearable and surprisingly ‘new’ each time it all begins again.

Do your head in wondering. Do our head in wondering – what this ‘life’ is about.

(The following is a sort of Soul Communication dialogue between myself and….?)

Q. God, what ‘is’ life? (‘Movement by thought equalling heat’!?).

Q. What ‘are’ we? (By-product of ‘movement of thought equalling heat’!?)

Okay… Q. What is ‘God’? (A semi permanent state of fluctuating vibration!?)

Q. What is “fluctuating vibration”? (Any movement of thought through time and space).

Q. What is ‘thought’? (Any dream made real!?)

Q. What is a dream? (Made by a motion of space!?)

Q. What is a motion of (in) space? (You are having one right now!)

Q. What am ‘I’ to have a motion in space? (I am the creative dreamer!)

Q. Where did I come from? (My mother’s womb!)

Q. Who is my mother? (The demiurge of offspring!?)

Q. What is the demiurge of offspring? (The father of life!?)

Q. What is the father of life? (That which is!)

Q. What is ‘that which is’? (Hitherto!)

Can I not be, if I am not ‘Am’ (?)!

Nonsense! Diddle-swash! Makeba! Zoom! Flip-flop freedom hopper. Catch me if you can! Zip!  I’m gone… not there. Trying to catch me is like trying to catch the wind, or, compress electricity. Can you do it? Na!

Only those as little children can enter the kingdom of heaven. (Read that!)

Post thought…

“Oh, there must be some sinister side controller putting these thoughts into my (our) heads”?  That is our trouble. Paranoia. “Something, or someone is controlling us – manipulating us”, we might think. So, we fester in tormented paranoia; we drink the juice of the drink we have concocted for ourselves….which is? I don’t know. You tell me!

The tantrums will pass and we’ll get to know ourselves better…or not.

The Lord your God is One!

…that means ‘I’ am one. You, We, All, are One. One big mind of God – thinking thoughts for it self. Whatever we think, is.

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OCD Insight

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What do I mean by ‘reckless abandon’?

I ‘experience’ (I won’t say “suffer” from) OCD symptoms – which, at times can be quite exhausting. Whether foolish or not, I have followed my gut instinct and not heeded my doctors’ advice to go on medication.

It is amazing what the body/spirit will do in order to survive against the odds. There is a way to help yourself – and it is all in the power of your mind…your faith…and your spirit.

The above statement/affirmation came to me this morning as I was being held in the clutches of a repetitive ocd pattern. “Reckless abandon” came across as an option…a creative way to move forward and ‘out’ of the grip of the ocd.

Realizing I am ‘choosing’ to remain trapped in the repetitive pattern – through fear of something terrible happening if I don’t do it – is empowering enough to make me think ‘what exactly am I so afraid of? ‘ 

The other morning another ocd stopper popped into my mind. I reasoned…

Everything that is bound to happen, will happen anyway – regardless of how many times I repeat the pattern.

Cold comfort?

You can also reason…

What has been…has been;

What is…is;

What will be…will be.

If we can relax into the full experience of life, and see it merely as an adventure of the spirit – without judging ourselves or anyone else – maybe we can get by.

One last empowering little OCD affirmation/statement you can say to yourself, which ‘throws a spanner’ in the works of an ocd episode, is…

There is a need (to do the repetitive thing), but, do I comply, or not?

…It may not stop the repetitive habit, but, it certainly causes your brain to realize the possibility of a new way.

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I Cannot Reject Myself Any Longer

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I woke up this morning becoming aware of the OCD patterns I keep falling into, and realised….

Rejecting the “bad feelings” or “bad thoughts”, which cause one to continue with the OCD motions/patterns of repeat until the bad thought or feeling goes away – or at least subsides – may be futile. Perhaps the challenge really is to integrate them into our whole being…rejecting NO aspect of ourselves, in order to find peace, and finally let go of the fear.

Love All, Judge Nothing: A touch on negating karma

The challenge, and gift, of the Tesla Metamorphosis practitioner is to judge nothing…extending their loving heart to all…even the most unlovable (in self and others). Here is where a radical shift in consciousness can take place…raising our vibration and causing us to take on a higher frequency, or, state of awareness/consciousness. The lightness of being that can be felt when one chooses to do this is remarkably liberating. This may be a task we all need to do, to enable ourselves to move out of the quandary we have been in for so long.

(In steps a voice of doubt)….

How could I not judge all the bad stuff? How could I forgive, and ‘be’ forgiven for all the wrongs that have been committed?  We need to be punished! We don’t deserve the privilege of not being held accountable.

Here might be where we get stuck.  If only we could ‘see’ (have a birds eye view) of the cause of things…the natural course of events which lead up to things happening…things said…things done; “Ah, yes”…we might think…”Now I can understand why that happened! It wasn’t ‘because’ of me, it was because of …..” Knowing there is rhyme and reason to things, we wouldn’t need to take things personally; we wouldn’t need to accept the burden of being solely responsible (or making others solely responsible) for all the “bad” stuff. We are not sole perpetrators…we are participants…acting from a natural instinct and drive to do so. Are we going to blame ourselves, or others, for having been unconscious players?  When we don’t realise the karmic wheel we are stuck on – the cause and effect nature of the natural world – well, we continue the motions, the “eye for an eye” thing. When we finally see, and realise, this automatic pilot cycle we are stuck on, we can begin to imagine a way out of it; and so glad will be our heart. A great teacher taught us to ‘turn the other cheek’. Being no impractical suggestion, this was a practical ‘instruction’ on how to negate this perpetuating karmic cycle…how to neutralise it affects.

Back to the part about forgiving self; once we realise the cycle we are trapped in, we can slowly (or quickly) begin to develop mercy and compassion for ourselves. Recognizing our own mishaps of judgment and action in others will allow us to begin to have mercy and compassion for ourselves.  We will be able to give mercy; and, you know how it goes….what you ‘give’ you shall receive.

(Voice of doubt queries)….  Is there punishment in ‘knowing’ these things, but not ‘acting’ on them? (i.e. By continuing to act badly, do we compound our ability to forgive ourselves?)

Just know this is a very tough and stubborn ‘skin’ we are trying to shed…our old habits; and let us not put ourselves down for occasionally slipping up. Instead, know this is a hard task, and expect to occasionally fall backwards. But, let us persevere…let us ‘carry our crosses’, and, keep our heads pointed in the direction we want to go.

Afterthought:

When tempted to become angry (for example), rather than slipping into the whole drama and fiasco of it (and ultimate guilt/karma) reason with yourself – ask: ‘why’ am I feeling angry?  Bring awareness to the situation – minus any need to judge it – remembering it is a natural response…an ‘effect’ of a cause…an equal and opposite reaction to a thing.  Light on the situation allows you navigate through it. You can decide…”O.k., where ‘do’ I want to go with this? Actually, I don’t ‘want’ to be angry; so, I will let it go”.

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For info about Tesla Metamorphosis, please visit www.teslametamorphosis.com

If Love Is All There Is

A night searching the net for information on biblical rapture, led me to some sites which spoke of times of tribulation – which tended to be more fear inducing than anything else. Within this fear I began to ponder, and search for answers within myself. This diary entry reflects some of my thoughts…

Diary entry: January 12, 2018

Don’t see it as something to fear – see it as a natural progression of events in an un-holy land – a land where we have allowed ourselves to be controlled by fear; doubt; and, uncertainty – rather than by love.

Know it for what it is; i.e. symptoms of a sick world – outcomes of fear-based living; not as a force which has power ‘over’ me/us, but, rather – a thing which exists ‘because’ of us – because of our reasoning and doubt. Can you stop a scab from forming on a wounded knee? Can you stop mucus forming from an infected throat? Horrible ‘symptoms’ are signs the body is cleansing itself. ‘Must’ they come to pass? (we dread). We – who are more than we know – can will ourselves to experience anything we desire – we are the dreamers of dreams – we can ‘change the reel’ of any picture we are viewing. How? By changing it…switching stations! Switch our station to God/Love – and we instantly ‘tune-in’ to that – and will know – and see – only that.

Fear of ‘something else’ harming us, will dissolve. Understanding; love; and compassion will set in, and throw off our old shackles of victim-hood. The ‘genie in the bottle’ really does grant us our wishes; the ‘genie’ of God’s Great Morpheus Wonder, responds to our very wishes and desires. Desire to be at one (atoned), and to know only one – one truth – that there ‘is’ no ‘other’… ultimately. Amen

AFFIRMATION:

If ever faced with something seemingly threatening, which reduces you to fear – know and declare this…

Love Is All I Know – I Know Only Love

AFTERTHOUGHT

‘Everything’ is possible. You will see whatever you are ‘tuned-in’ to. Every conceivable thought exists – as a thing – in a thought form factory – ready to be shipped in a three-dimensional form – once enough human desire and emotion has been mixed into the ingredients. You will (only ever) see what you are tuned-in to; whatever ‘station’ you are tuned into, is the program you are going to see. What does this ‘mean’? E.g. If you are tuned-in to see, or expect, only hatred; grief; anger fueling injustice – then, you will attract/pick up all those types of frequencies/things/situations/people from the environment around you. You will see only these things – if it is only these things you are tuned-in to – or expect – ‘to’ see from life. What do you ‘want’ to see?

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DISCLAIMER

Please note: My writing is based on my own research; creative contemplation; and intuitive reasoning. Although I may write with a certain conviction, I do not claim to know or present fact, or truth.

 

2018 – Acknowledge, and Resolve Opposing Forces

In terms of numerology, 2018 represents an 11/2 year, (2+0+1+8 = 11; 1+1 = 2) and, is also my personal 2 year. This way I feel somewhat in tune with the collective.

For the last few weeks I have been seeing 2’s quite often; and on this New Year’s morning, I began contemplating the two opposing sides of my personality – the “good”, and, the “bad”. I sensed that this year would be a year of resolving this conflict – or, at least coming to terms with it.

Diary entry: January 1, 2018

Two equally important sides – make up one significant whole.

No longer can I reject one, or the other. Both sides must be acknowledged. I cannot run away from my shadow. Why do I have a shadow? Because the illusion of a single, separate form makes it so.

When I am ‘the light’, I have no shadows; but, when I am a ‘separate entity’ – in a ‘body’ – I have a shadow! So, do I be the light, or, do I be the body?

(Enters a voice of reason)… I Am Both!

If I am both – I am neither one, nor the other! If I am ‘All’ of it…I cannot only be one ‘part’ of it.

(Voice of doubt responds) …Okay, the part of me that ‘does’ seem separate – with ‘shadow’ – i.e. my body… (Sentence interrupted by the voice of reason)…

There is only one body! See past the illusion – and you will see Me! (Think of an amoeba). Only One body – trying to work itself through the illusion!

Go in Grace, and wonder… Who I am.

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…An end to separateness! I can live with that!