I Am The Awareness of God: A philosophical musing


I am the awareness (an aspect of) God Almighty, trapped within a corporal beam of light.


I woke this morning with the above insight, but went on to realize – alternatively – that, rather than being “trapped” in light, I/We are trapped within/by a thought God is having about Himself/Itself! “I/We” being ‘aspects’ of God’s own Awareness.

By corporal beam of light, I mean: light as being a created “thing” in which our awareness is trapped in/associating itself with. “Light”…”Sol”… our “Soul” is the light our awareness (i.e. our individualized portion of the Creators’ own Awareness) is trapped in.

Thought creates bursts of heat/light

Light is the by-product of God thinking thoughts about Himself/Itself

…So, saying we are “trapped” in the light, should/could really say: We (God’s Awareness) are trapped within a ‘thought’ about ourselves… or rather, ‘God’ is trapped within a thought about Himself.

When all thoughts retire;

When they have run their course;

Out will be put the fire;

And into cold retraction…

They shall reverse.

No more thoughts… no more ‘heat’ / ‘light’ / ‘things’ / ‘forms’. A cooling down period where all once matter, will fizzle and retract in onto Itself.


Q. Will ‘Awareness’ be lost?

‘Being’-ness will replace activity. Stillquietsilent awareness of just ‘being‘.  Until, simple ‘being-ness’ becomes over emphasised…over experienced, and restlessness sets in. Then…

Bang’… ‘Pow’… ‘Pop’… ‘Slam’– Wake Up! It’s party time… again!

(Reason enquires)…. If We – as pure, ageless Awareness – have countless millennia/eons, then what is the great rush to work it all out? (I think of the desperate urge to ‘save souls’ as preached by the Church). What great ‘danger’ is there if we don’t ‘realise’ Who and What we are before the worlds/the Mind collapses back into Itself?

Not ‘knowing’… ‘Ignorance’ ?

When we don’t know Who/What we are, we will continue to be subjected to the same old fates and misfortunes – as in all previous existences/incarnations (?!)

Cycles of knowing.

Q. Jesus, ‘why’ is it so important we overcome ourselves/our flesh bodies, along with all its problems?

(This is the answer that came to me)….

You said it before… To realise you are God. Until you realise this your experience of living will be subject to fate. Until you realise this you will not be the spirit of joy, love, and adventure you seek to be. Knowing Who you are Will Set You Free – free to roam and play in this Grand Old Adventure of life. Amen

Thanks J.C.   

A creative contemplation of God’s first Word.

(Here I interchange the words Thinker, Observer, *Him, *He, It, to describe ‘God’… the Great Unknown. “He” not meaning male – but, the base aspect of life – neither male nor female).

A thought uttered, becomes a word.

How does Spirit ‘utter’ a thought?

By ‘imagining’.

The restless movement of Mind beginning to wake again after a long nights sleep.

A ‘spark’ of thought creates a small burst of light. This small burst of light – observed by the Great Unknown – gives rise to another thought… ”What was that?”… the Thinker thought,… and yet another small burst of light occurs, until ‘many’ bursts of light form a “thing”. A ‘form’ begins to appear from the small bursts of light grouping together. And, the Thinker responds joyfully by observing the things – and the things become more solid, the more the Observer observes them, and holds them in Its mind.

The Thinker soaks in/absorbs the site that It sees, and vibrations set in, leading to sounds, i.e. reflections of light bouncing off the Observers observations of the things It sees.

All these “things” floating about in the air of the Observer’s Awareness…interact with Him. He sees them, and He responds – ”Ah”, it is Good”.

What causes the ‘utterance’? Or rather, what ‘is’ an utterance?

A response to a thing.

  1. Light 2. Sound

The Observer saw the things being created by the small bursts of light.

What caused the vibrations?

The “things” re-sounding/bouncing off each other (!?)

The first vibrations were caused by the “things” that were created by the first small bursts of light, bouncing off one another.

It must have been a delight to see… to witness.  And God knew It Was Good.

image source


Please note: My writing is based on my own research, creative contemplation, and intuitive reasoning. Although I may write with a certain conviction, I do not claim to know or present fact, or truth.









Stuck On Creation

Original artwork by Tracy M. Image created after contemplating our earthly predicament, and how we may be trapped here by our desires which keep us coming back.


Portions of The Creator


The aim is to establish liberation from the flesh; for Good Will and order to rein. Good Will meaning: no-one sees ‘evil’; no one ‘judges’or ‘blames’. All can come in and out of experience at will. Then, natural, harmonizing order can be maintained. All will ‘sense’ the balance and act in accordance…for, all will be equal, and will Love the “other”.

(I received this insight in the middle of the night after suddenly waking up. I seemed to be in silent conversation with a ‘voice of reason’ – the source of which I am unsure of. So, please, read with a ‘grain of salt’!)

The Snare of Creation

There is such sweetness to be savoured in the world; yet, we remain here bound by stuckOnCreationLOWstrife;  failing to recognize the immense ‘gift’ we have: to experience the wondrous and beautiful creation.

We were meant to be able to come in and out of incarnation – at will – for the purpose of experiencing the beauty of the creation we…our core beings…had made. Yet, we became entrapped in it…’snared’ by it…consumed completely by the ‘Laws’ of it. Now ‘stuck’ in it, we tend to focus on the burden of it, not really realizing there ‘is’ a way out of it. ‘How’? By, following the example…‘The Way’…set for us by Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Take away all the religious associations, and see solely the Man…the ‘Spirit Made Flesh’; and hear Him…seek to know Him…for He is The “Pattern”*…The Way-showerwho came to be an example…to show us how to escape the physical Laws of cause and effect which keep us bound in cycles of karma.  The story of ’Turning the other cheek’ when someone hits you, was not about being ‘nice’ or ‘good’, it was practical advice about how to neutralize this karmic response…the natural ‘eye for an eye’ response. Consciously choosing not to hit the person back, but rather, defying the spirit of strife–halting it in tracks–’turning the other cheek’, and, stopping this automatic response. Suddenly you can become a “conscious dweller” knowing ‘how’ you become stuck in the ‘Tit-for-tat’ law of nature; soon realizing you don’t have to be part of it. [*See readings of Edgar Cayce]

Rather than the physical laws ruling you, suddenly, like J.C, you start to become the ruler of it.  Remember what Jesus said….’Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. If not, believe because of the things I do. I am telling you the truth: whoever believes in me will do what I do—yes, he will do even greater things’….. [John 14 11-12]

Don’t just take ‘my’ word for it!

Disclaimer: Please note that what I write is based on my own research; creative contemplation’s; and, intuitive level of understanding. While I seem to write with a certain conviction, I do not claim to know or present “fact” or “truth”.


A Voice of Reason and a Spirit of Evil: (a soul communication)

[Please note: The following is based on my own intuitive insights and investigations. I make no claim to know or present “fact” or “truth”. Please read at your own discretion.]

A diary entry contemplating fear, evil, and our Earthly predicament, turned into a (possible) soul communication between a voice of reason and, a spirit of evil…

Joy of forgiving; no longer needing to hold onto the ‘reason’…the ‘strife’. No longer needing to hold onto…or…finally able to forgive self… through compassion?

“Strife is fun!” (a voice says).  Living in the creation ‘we’ created – playing too long in it – forgetting where we come from, or really belong… Where do I/we really belong? (In the heart of my mother’s bosom?)… Where do we really belong? …Right here: where we have always been (?!)

Is there really disharmony in the universe ‘because’ of us?

Is there really disharmony in the universe because of us?

There is strife and unrest.

Is this strife and unrest ‘bad’ or ’wrong’?

Nothing is wrong. Everything is right as it should be…considering all it has been.

Everything Is Everything It Is. Everything Is what It Is…’is’ … ‘si’  (‘Yes’)… Everything is valid…validated.

Many eyes looking…what are they seeing?

Image source

What is ‘evil’?


Desire for what?


Revenge for what?

For the mistaken belief that we separated ourselves from our God. The fear of the unknown – unknowable

What unknown?

The unknown within – deep within

Within what?

Your heart, mind and soul

What is my heart, mind, and soul?

God – portion of God – the pro-claimer of your speech – the (magicians) mustard – the life force remedy

What is life force?

(The unbearable lightness of being)


Cannot be stopped…

Infinity… (voice now being sucked through a vacuum…trailing…echoing…)

(a DEFIANT SPIRIT OF EVIL resumes ‘conversation’…)

Not ‘knowing’…not having the upper hand on this ‘LIFE’ – drives us INSANE. We must know…we must be ‘God’…we must rule. Those fools who proclaim to have a God we cannot see – we are the ones who must … who must …. (voice trails off)

…We have no one else to rely upon. Why should we believe in a God who does not come down to us – who lets us live in this strife – who allows it to be this way? Do you see my dilemma?

William Blake Los Symbol of Poetic Genius Consumed by Flames
Art of William Blake


You have no faith in something you cannot see. You have no faith in something which allows the world to be as it is…you have no patience for those in the waiting…

…Your creation is a machine with a mind of its own…Your creation of tit-for-tat. Your creation…

‘My’ creation!? ‘God’ created this! (spoken vilely)

You are God.


You are God… God’s microcosm. You are an infinitely small GIANT – You are a one subdivided WHOLEYou created your reality. Yes, You.

(self questioning now)Why was I so blind?

Blinded by unknowing.

Why didn’t I know? …(getting agitated again)

You forgot.

Why did I forget?

You chose a direction which took you furthest away from the point of your being (soul)… sol.

Why did I do that?

Because you could – you took a chance – you went out to play with the creation you had made – and now, the creation has you captive.

Is that really such a ‘bad’ thing?

It depletes your soul – weakens your connection to your sol. And now you are stuck in PATTERNS OF REPEAT (like OCD)   Weak…Fearful…Afraid.

What will it take to get out of this (mess) state?

Being unafraid – Let yourself ‘play’ in this light – as dark as it seems – let yourself experience ALL it has to offer you – knowing it is a creation of your soul – something you are ‘imagining’ is happening…all the while knowing from where you come and to where you will return.  ‘Where’?  Infinite Love and Awareness. Unafraid…you will unraveluncoil yourself from this “game” of your awareness…and return once again to infinite state of your being. Just Being…bathed in the warm light of knowing – understanding exactly That Which You Are.

Image found here